So you want to talk dirty, but don’t have a clue where to start?
Gutter bedroom talk is an art form in itself — but don’t worry, it’s not that hard to learn how to be good at it. Yes, there may be giggles, but a laugh is better than the alternative of silence.
Even in our modern era, talking about what we want when it comes to sex is still difficult. Fantasy requests can be misconstrued as saying “you are not enough for me” when, in reality, they are a huge part of our sexuality — which, if we believe statistics, a whopping 80% of our sex lives takes place in our heads. So, talking dirty is part of fantasy sex play, and can be a headboard-busting turn-on for both partners.
Communication is the key to good sex. We should all know this by now, but we still don’t practice it half as much as we should, if at all. The first step to introducing something new into lovemaking is to test the waters in casual conversations. Ask questions like: “Have you ever talked dirty in bed before?” or “If I talked filth into your ear while we made love, what would you do?” This gets the idea into her head, and rest assured that she’ll ponder it.
There are two aspects of successfully integrating dirty talk into your sex play. The first is the content — subject matter makes or breaks any dirty talk session. It’s supposed to turn her on, not make her cringe or burst out laughing. The second is the delivery: Your tone, volume and the warm up are all important.
Read her an erotic story This can be incredibly erotic and is a fantastic way to start.
Swear Dirty words are part of our culture, and we use them for effect and expression. This is the very reason why swearing is a great part of talking dirty in bed. The bare-bones filth of the words spurs on the rawness of the act you are performing. It can also bring out another side of us. If your girl is sweet and polite by nature, expressing her dirty side in bed can be a real buzz for both of you.
Speak in a different language All in all, English is not the most romantic language on earth. It is by no means the worst sounding, but something like French, Italian or Portuguese sounds so much better. It sounds different and the words, spoken with such elegance, are a pleasure to hear. Having words spoken to you in a foreign tongue during sex can be a beautiful thing, regardless of what is said. Keep in mind, however, that telling her you can’t wait to buy a new dishwasher in Spanish is not going to help you in anyway — unless, of course, you have a thing for dishwashers. So, keep the topic sexy so that you stay in the mood as well.
Talking dirty can be a lot of fun and can give a boost to your sex life. Being an effective dirty talker takes practice and perseverance. Blurting out rude things may come naturally to you, but being a successful filth merchant probably doesn’t. Just remember: Take it easy and work your way into it.
If sex is a weapon, then your words are the bullets
BOOKS that may help