Colly - 28 October 2009 05:13 AM

Raj - 28 October 2009 04:11 AM

... these are all very reasonable roles for women!!!

I do fear for your wellbeing at the next party after that comment

Yes.. expect punishment from the Sunday School teachers !!!! (see Cleo’s thread…)

Raj - is this part of your cunning plan to be first in detention

Its part of my cunning plan to be the first in the cunnilingus class! Or is cunnilingus a new irish airline?

Cunnilingus: airline formed by merger of Aer Lingus and Ryanair. Aer Lingus brought the Lingus bit to the deal, and Ryanair brought the ....  

trysomemore - 28 October 2009 05:48 PM

Raj - 28 October 2009 04:11 AM

Colly - 27 October 2009 06:31 PM

Please note no offence is meant

Who were u thinking of offending mate… these are all very reasonable roles for women!!!

My god Em is going to string you up!! - On second thoughts you might enjoy it!!

Or maybe he’s looking to be tied up on the swing with Jewels and Lara

Maybe we should have a LMP Driving School as well…

http://www.efukt.com/20573_LOL_I_Ejaculated_On_You.html

Bill worked in a pickle factory. 
He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day
to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. 
He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. 
His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed.  He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.

‘What’s wrong, Bill?’ she asked.

‘Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?’

‘Oh, Bill, you didn’t’ she exclaimed.

‘Yes, I did.’ he replied.

‘My God, Bill, what happened?’

‘I got fired.’

‘No, Bill.  I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?’

‘Oh…she got fired too

A couple had been married for 50 years.

They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, ‘Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.’

‘I know,’ the old man said.  ‘We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago.’

‘Well,’ Granny snickered.  ‘Let’s relive some old times.’

Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.

‘You know, honey,’ the little old lady breathlessly replied, ‘My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.’

‘I wouldn’t be surprised,’ replied Gramps.  ‘One’s in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal

Brains

————————————————————————————————————————
A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.

“Mom,” he asked, “are these my brains?”

“Not yet,” she replied.

Learning to talk…

————————————————————————————————————————
A group of kindergartners were trying very hard to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk!

“You need to use ‘Big People’ words,” she was always reminding them.

She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend?

“I went to visit my Nana.”

“No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use ‘Big People’ words!

She then asked Mitchell what he had done.

“I took a ride on a choo-choo.”

She said “No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use ‘Big People’ words.”

She then asked little Liam what he had done?

“I read a book,” he replied.

“That’s WONDERFUL!” the teacher said. “What book did you read?”

Liam thought real hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride, and said, “Winnie the SHIT.”

Another Walmart

————————————————————————————————————————
A woman went to a WalMart service counter and told the clerk she wanted a refund for the toaster she bought because it won’t work The clerk told her that he can’t give her a refund because she bought it on special.

Suddenly, the woman threw her arms up in the air and started screaming,

‘PINCH MY NIPPLES,
PINCH MY NIPPLES,
PINCH MY NIPPLES!!!!!!’

The befuddled clerk ran away to get the store manager
In front of a growing crowd of customers.

T he manager comes to the woman and asks,‘Ma’am what’s wrong?’

She explains the problem with the toaster, and he also tells her that he can’t give her a refund because she bought it on special.

Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and screams,

‘PINCH MY NIPPLES,
PINCH MY NIPPLES,
PINCH MY NIPPLES!!!’

Which begins to draw an even bigger crowd!

In shock, the store manager pleads,
‘Ma’am, why are you saying that?’

In a huff, the woman says,

‘BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE
MY NIPPLES PINCHED
WHEN I’M BEING SCREWED!!’

The crowd broke into applause and her money was quickly refunded!!

Embarrassed

————————————————————————————————————————
A lady walks into a high class jewelry shop. She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it.

As she bends over to look more closely, she inadvertently breaks wind.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn’t pop up right now.

As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, “Good day, Madam. How
may we help you today?”

Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her little ‘accident’, she asks, “Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?”

He answers, “Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you’re
going to shit when I tell you the price.”

Where do u get the shot?
————————————————————————————————————————
I’m not overly concerned about swine flu.
But the following link of events were recently brought to my attention:

• 3 years ago, Chinese calendar - year of the cow .....
Mad Cow disease.

• 2 years ago, Chinese calendar - year of the bird .....
Avian flu.

• This year, Chinese calendar - year of the pig ......
Swine flu.

Next year, Chinese calendar is the year of the cock…...

I’m just sayin’.... be careful out there people!!

He stuck a maraschino cherry up his arse, then pulled it out and ate it ... then he did the same with some peanuts!” says the barman.

Regards

Broode

______
[URL=http://dossierdesurendettement.net/dossier-de-surendettement/dossier-de-surendettement]dossier surendettement[/URL]

so with Herman Van Rompuy as the new President of Europe - so glad Blair didn’t get it - his grin would have taken on planet shattering dimensions…does this signal in a new era of Rompuy-Pompuy…...

I Thank You….

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4h70bQ1VJNI

What does he say? “We’re gonna make her cum”? LOL!